I just realized something about my self.
At a deeper level.
Like seeing the ground up close
From a distance it looks like a lush grass field
but when you get right in it
it's sparse grass and dirt
and you wonder
how do the horses survive out here.

I land in the dust between blades
of course,
late summer grass.

There is no one here.
No one is allowed
to trample what little grass there is.
There is
and old sign with faded letters
urgency lost, now a mere suggestion
Keep Off the Grass.
What a miser, they must think me
but really for me not wanting
anyone to see
what needs more water and care
and I need a couple more angels
bending over me whispering
"grow! grow!"
Be careful what you wish for
Because growing comes with pains
but it also comes with rains
which is good for grass anyway.
And we always know spring from fall
by the gravity and what it pulls
rain from heaven
or leaf from tree
finally down to me
until I'm flat on my back
in the cool young grass

and now it's Spring.